If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
