you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
