If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
