whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
