he puts the penis in happiness.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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