ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
