the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
