i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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