We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize