i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
