im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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