the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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