i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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