He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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