His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
you will always have a special place in my vag
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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