Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
