They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
