I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
