woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
