READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
