Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
