new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Drunk is a universal language darling
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