so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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