He is such a slut. More and more my type.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
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