Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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