come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Randomize
