the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
