i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
