I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
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