Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
