nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
