Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
