were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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