The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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