I haven't been this sober since birth.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize