I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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