well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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