We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
