Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
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