I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
