I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize