I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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