Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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