Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Of course I have a pirate flag
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
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