Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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