He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
