the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
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He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
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Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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