Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
