At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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