of course. lets lasso hookers.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
