God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
