My room smells like vodka and shame
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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