i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
