You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
