So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
