Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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