shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
