Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Randomize
