scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
