Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Sext me about skeletons
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
