Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
