ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
