my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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