yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
