if i can run in heels then i can drive
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Randomize